There have been some changes in me lately, would you like to learn a little bit more? Okay, here we go.
I had an experience that literally changed the course of my life and made me who I am today, so about me.
Let me start with how I thought at one time. I used to think God did not care about me but, I now feel much more settled about those feelings.
There was a time when I thought God did not exist. I thought of myself as useless, unwanted, used and an abused. All these things had taken place throughout my life and they were mostly due to the influences of others.
Bending Over Backwards A Little Bit More
As I was going about life wanting happiness and bending over backwards for others. Feeling depleted because my wants needs and desires. were not being filled. This left me feeling used, abused, dirty and ashamed.
After all these events took place I had to repent and surrender my life to God.
Surrendering Amongst Drowning
This is what it looks like when you fully surrender. Why does it take this to finally turn to God and give him everything? To stop pursuing everything on my own. Crying out to God telling Him I am yours use me, fill me, complete me and deliver me what you feel I deserve. All when you feel the timing is right, not what’s on my agenda.
I gave God the steering wheel and allowed him to steer. This meant letting go of everything, Thanking Him for where I was and what I had. Learning to enjoy and love what I had at the moment even if it wasn’t much.
The most important thing was that I was able to focus on was my two children.
When I had this change happen to me I started to spend more time in His word. Since then I have learned that I can lean into him, versus others.
I now see Jesus as my father that I can go to any time of the day or night.
Having endured countless things that have been thrown upon me. Including one particular day, the day I asked God a question. This particular question to GOD was on a blazing hot day in the greater Sacramento area of California! I was the ripe age of 43. At this time in my life I had been re-married for 6 years. Although, I had two children from a prior marriage. My son had just turned 14 years old and my daughter was only 10 years old.
During this time I was about fifteen pounds overweight . Mostly, because there was no time to cook meals at home so we ate out everyday at least two meals a day.
At this time my spouse owned and operated a security business. We both had our private investigators licenses. Working full-time for a technology company and re-enrolling in college, owned and operated my own bakery business mostly on the weekends.
The Vehicle I Was Driving
The vehicle I was driving (borrowing) at the time was a my spouses friends car. A dream car of many. The car was in great condition outside of needing a tune-up. On August 16, 2011 as I was driving the car to pickup my son from football practice the car started sputtering. I kept praying God, please get me to the high school.
Sitting in the Mustang sweating to death. Waiting for my son to finish football practice, I phoned my spouse. He was supposed to give the car a tune-up over the weekend. I’m basically stranded and afraid to drive the car further. He said, “I will take care of the car when you get home”.
I was so upset that I was put in this predicament in the first place, I was frustrated and emotional over the phone with him. After hanging up on him, I looked up into the sky around 6:00 pm and asked God can my life get any worse? Well, I will admit to you right now to my dismay the answer was yes! Yes, it’s going to get a lot worse!
A Little Bit More Was 24 Hours Later
Have you ever asked GOD in a prayer for an answer and expect or at least hope for the answer sooner rather than later? Well I can tell you mine was answered less than 24 hours later. My question to GOD took place around the 6:00 o’clock in the evening of August 16, 2011 and was answered the very next day around the 2:00 o’clock in the afternoon hour.
Before I tell you what happened you will need you to understand why it happened. I hope you are ready for this crazy twisty kind of story. You will never know when your life will start over but, it does start over, it can start over, because your purpose is why you will restart. You need to try and keep a positive attitude, because today is a new day, all things are new in it! AMEN! So, it’s a fresh do over or start over! Every new day, is a fresh new start, because you can never say it is tomorrow, because in reality it is today.
Moving Forward A Little Bit More
But, you can also choose to look and live your life in the rear view mirror, which means you won’t be moving forward. We must move forward in life, seeking and walking. We will not be running, because hastiness will cause havoc, I know that all too well too. My dad had a nickname for me, he would say slow down ‘Hurricane’! Because, I would never do anything slow! Why follow directions? The answer is because you need a direction or a path to follow, if you have no direction, or you choose to not stay on the path your life may turn out like doorathee from Wizherd of Awhz , Maybe that is why my life has been what it has been.
Do you want to live with a mentality thought process of saying “I should of” or “could of” which is pure misery. If I would have finished my college education. If only I would have listened to my parents. Your parents are telling you this because of their life experiences trying to save you the time, because you will make many mistakes, these mistakes will cause you to make u-turns, hit bumps and chuckholes, and all because you didn’t want to listen to their advice. Advise is knowledge from experience!
Stay tuned to why this blog came about.